Hello my lovelies!
Im sorry I havent posted but I havent been able to.. Ive had a shitload of homework every day in uni, tests, gym, social life, cold, etc etc.. Its too much!
I fasted last week until saturday morning when i weighed 50.0 kilograms.. Then there was a family lunch and at first I only ate veggies, then I ate fish, then I ate rice, then cake, then candy, then chocolate, then peanut butter, then more of everything, etc etc etc DISASTER.. Sunday I did the exact same thing..
Its starting to be the way I function.. I succesfully fast monday through friday, and then ana decides to go away for the weekends and mia moves in, and then she leaves again on sunday night leaving a complete total mess of me.. I try to understand why this happens but there is just no logical explanation for it and its killing me.. Im currently fasting again since monday and I weigh 51.7 (total pig) can u see the disaster that the weekend binge caused me?..aaaagagggghhh.
Ive been super sick since monday and i still went to the gym yesterday and today.. I need to lose this weight NOOOW!!!!!.. I hate thatmy legs dont look like sticks anymore and that my arms are looking healthy.. i fucking hate this..
Im also like the weakest person that has ever stepped on this disgusting planet.. I remember the days when I never ever ever drank calories, I remember the days when I was always empty and pure, I remember the days when I didnt step off the eliptical until I had burned 500 calories minimum.. the best days of my life.. Now i drink plenty calories a day from capuccinos and frapuccinos, I step off the elliptical without burning 500 calories, I allow myself soup and sometimes yogurt... WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH ME!!!!!!
I NEED HELP, I REALLY DO.. HOW IS IT POSSIBLE TO GO BACKWARDS.. IM SO SCARED OF JUST LETTING GO AND BECOMING A FAT PERSON AGAIN.. IT SCARED ME SOO MUCH.. BUT ANA IS SLIPPING THROUGH MY FINGERS, IM NOT CARING ANYMORE..