Im sorry I didnt post all week! It was a punishment for my obese behavior the past month so I decided not to let myself write until I lost 2 kilos.. and I did.. I fasted monday through friday and whent down from 54 kilos to 52 kilos.. but then i ate saturday normally and today i binged so i just really hope i dont gain from this and tomorrow ill start fasting again.. i have this new rule that i can only write here if i dont eat.. so if i wanna write or look at ur blogs which i loooove to do.. ill have to not eat.
Im planning to lose 2 kilos every week until i get to my goal weight which is 48..
I figured out that its not about weight.. Its about beauty, weakness, frailness, emptyness, cleaness,.. I wanna look on the outside how i think i look on the inside.. i need to let myself out.. so im going to..
I would fast forever but I have a lunch party at my fathers ranch on saturday and i have to go.. and maybe there is a way that i couls go and avoid eating but im so weak that when im around food on weekends i jsut permit myself to eat.. so i will write here every day and maybe u guys can help me and motivate me so i can deal with saturday before it turns into a disaster.. if im able to not eat saturday then maybe i can fast for 2 weeks straight and get to 48 or 47 sooner!
love u guys!