Friday, September 25, 2009

I lock the door and lock my head, and dream of butterflies instead...


I dont know where to begin..

U have no idea how many things can happen, and how can things change in only 24 hours..


1. I went to the Eating Disorder specialist/ psychiatrist I told u guys about. He diagnosed me with Anorexia Nervosa (oh really). He scheduled an appointment in his clinic for me on tuesday.. There I will be fully examinated (blood test, x-rays, MRI, and a bunch of weird tests).. Yesterday, I talked to the doctor and he said that we will have to wait for the test results to see what is going to happen to me.. but he said there are 2 options:

Option A) If I weigh 54 kilos; then i will have to go everyday to the clinic to special meetings, and therapy sessions, and ,tc etc etc etc.. but I get to still have a life..

Option B) If I weigh 53 kilos or less, I will be given a chance to get my weight up with the program I already told u guys about. If i dont do it, then I will be put into the clinic, isolated from the world, etc etc etc

2. The dr also gave me PROZAC!!!.. i still dont know how i feel about that.. I just started taking it today and i dont know if i like it or not.. I just didnt think I needed it..

3.I am still fasting.. this would be the fifth day. I went clubbing last night and had a little tekila but I danced like crazy for like 4 hours so I dont think I broke my fast..

4.The last time I weighed myself was like 3 weeks ago and my weight was 54 kilos.. I know ive lost weight. But I seriously thought I only lost 2 kilos.. I still dont feel light, and empty.. But today I weighed myself and GUESS WHAT!! 50.9 KILOS!!!!!!!... I have no idea how it happened but it happened!

5.This should be the happiest day of my life! But instead im worried, and nervous, and going crazy! The dr will lock me up the moment he knows my weight.. But there is no way in hell that Im gaining more weight either!.. I love this, I want this!!!


PEOPLE TODAY IS THE DAY I NEED UR HELP THE MOST!..

-tips to trick the scale.

-tips to trick the doctors.

-advice, comments, help!

-if some of u guys have been in a clinic, please tell me about it! i dont know what to expect!


2 questions- is it weird that ive been fasting for 5 days and i feel fine? and.. does light jello count as food?


I LOVE U.. I COUDLNT HAVE DONE THIS WITHHOUT U! 50.9 KILOS= 112 POUNDS!

2 comments:

  1. One way you could try to fool them could be to drink loads of water right before they go to wiegh you...

    I'm giving you advice, but please be carefull too, ok!

    So like, now what? Now that you've acheived 112!!!??? So happy for U!! =D

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  2. I'm so happy for you! and jealous! 112! well done, I agree, drink loads of water, I think that works? sorry I can't offer any more help, I hope everything goes okay.

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