BIGGEST PINGE EVER!
-burnt 500 calories at the gym
-fish and veggies
-shrimp and veggies
-glass of milk!
GOD HELP ME..
the worst part is that I didnt care.. i completely knew what I was doing and kept doing it.. i wanted more, i allowed myself more.. as a matter a fact I just ate more cookies 5 seconds ago..
I want more.. omg that chocolate was so good, and the glass of milk!.. i completely forgot how much i love milk!.. its been ages since ive had some.. I NEVER DRINK CALORIES..
WTF?????... i think its been forever since i ate like this.. FOREVER!.. the last time I ate like this was when i was fat.. i used to eat like this everyday.. LIMITLESS.. im scared of myself..
the worst fucking part is that i didnt even want to purge, i didnt care, i actually said to myself "it doesnt matter, its just one day of binging, u wont gain weight, its only one day, enjoy it"..I am the most pathetic person in this fucking earth.. i think im going crazy, cause if i was sane i would never ever ever in a thousand hundred years allow myself to eat what i ate.. i think i ate in one day what i eat in a month.. ugh i feel dirty.. and now that i want to vomit, i really want to vomit, I CANT.. i just took my last two laxies a while ago and if i vomit then i will vomit the laxies too and i dont have more.. worst fucking day of my life.. i cant believe i actually ate carbs!! and sugaar!.. cookies, milk, chocolate, popcorn?????? WTF!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I think my body needed it.. im gonna try to stay calm.. im just gonna erase today from my memory, from my life.. this didnt happen.. these things dont happen to me!.. i am stronger than this!.. i dont want that food.. i dont even like it, i hate it!.. from now on im gonna haate chocolate, im gonna haate cookies.. im gonna hate everything! even veggies!.. i dont want foood!!!!!!!!!
i want fucking emptyness!!! i want fucking bones!!!!!
parents leaving to argentina tomorrow for 7 days.. which means= 7 DAYS OF FASTING!!!!! 7 DAYS OF PURE EMPTYNESS!!! SEVEN DAYS OF NOTHING! 7 DAYS OF THIN!.. SEVEN DAYS OF PERFECTION!!.. 7 DAYS OF FUCKING FREEDOM!!!!!!
I think it was good that i did this today!.. cause now im more disgusted of food than i have ever been!!.. perfect to start a fast!.. even coffe and tea disgust me!..
FUCK THIS SHIT PEOPLE...IM FUCKING BACK!!!..
FUCK U STUPID, FAT, WEAK, UGLY, OBESE, DIRTY, DISGUSTING WHORE!.. ANA IS BACK TO KICK SOME ASS!!! EVEN MIA CAN GO TO HELL..
anyone wanna join us?.. we can make it like a competition! im also gonna work out till i faint.. if i dont faint then its not enough..
I STARTED PROJECT BARBIE, AND NOW IM GONNA FINISH IT AND WIN IT..
XOXO WISH ME LUCK