Day 3 of my fast, completed..
I had some problems though.. i was forced to eat, but i just had some soup, only like 5 tablespoons and then went to the bathroom and threw it up.. I got home and my dad said I had to have dinner, so I grabbed a yoghurt and brought it here with me.. its right beside me and its haunting me.. i want it sooooo bad.. but hopefully writing here will make me throw it away..
I only burnt 250 calories at the gym today. I dont know why im so fucking lazy.. I dont know where my willpower went.. I used to kill myself at the gym, I went 2 times a day.. now i only go half..
I weighed myself and i weigh 50.7!.. which means i lost another kilogram! im so happy! (its still not enough though).. I got soo mad today cause my dad told me that my jeans look better on me now u can actually see i have an ass.. aghhh i hated his fucking comment! i hate him, he doesnt realize he hurts me when he says those things..
I decided im gonna fast until i weigh 48 kilograms, and then im gonna do an experiment with a friend.. we are gonna eat celery 3 times a day.. only celery.. we wanna boost our metabolism so we dont gain when we start eating other things.. my metabolism is so fucked up that i gain weight from eating a piece of watermelon.. i fucking hate my body..
I really want u guys to stay strong.. i want u to realize how lucky u are when u eat 500 calories and lose weight.. if i eat 20 i gain.. i envy u so much..
THE PICTURE ABOVE IS ME, 6 days ago.. please comment.. tell me how fat i am.. i hate myself..
Which is the best ana book u gusy recommend me? i want a really thinspirational one that will bring my willpower back..
love u guys