Today I went to an interview at a modeling agency.. tomorrow they will let me know if they hire me or not but i think i nailed it.. everything was going swell for the day until they measured me and i got in a really bad mood.. apparently my measurements are perfect but i hated them..
chest- 33 waist- 24 hips- 36 OMG im such a huge whale!!!!
what sucks the most is that i was actually starting to feel thin again.. im wearing my first pair of size 2 skinny jeans and they are baggy on me, i just bought them last week.. and now i feel fat again... when will it be enough? when will i feel thin? when will i feel beautiful?
Im supposed to be fasting forever unless im forced to eat, but i arrived at my friends house while he was having lunch and he made me eat something so i had vegetable soup and didnt eat the potatos... but i didnt eat anything else i am not gonna binge or anything cause in my mind im still fasting.. I couldnt hit the gym today but tomorrow i will go and burn my regular 500 cals...
Im so excited for my new life! I have so many projects in mind! I wont stop till i hit they sky i swear, thats where im meant to be, not here on the ground... i know i will be someone huge and great and id rather die than not get there.. LIVE UR DREAM PEOPLE.. why be mediocre?
Im weighing myself on friday.. im not looking forward to it anymore.. but i promise ill be 48 before the month is over.. i love u